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[14 May 2004|10:31pm] |
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So, it has been a long time coming...
But, I got a new journal...![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) takethisbreathx
Yay. How fun...
. sarah .
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| Here comes the showdown... What goes around comes around... |
[12 May 2004|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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music |
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britney spears |
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And I hope you can
forgive me for
that time when I put
my hand between your legs
and said it was small
'cause it's really not
...at all...
Jack and Bradley came over after school. We watched some of the boondock saints, then Jack stated he was going to take his clothes off. And he proceeded to do so, Bradley following suit. So I had to boys sitting on my couch, completely naked except for their boxer(brief)s. Haha, it was so funny... Especially because Jack thought I was going to be uncomfortable... but with him? Haha, well, you know...
What was really amusing though was when Bradley said "What would happen if, like, your dad walked in right now and there was a boy in your room, basically naked?", and I said, "Well, I'd tell him that I was just upset and you were trying to comfort me. Trust me. It works." And Bradley got very confused. And I laughed. Cuz well, wouldn't be the first time...
I freakin love the britney spears cd. So much. Go buy it. Now.
. sarah .
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[11 May 2004|02:29am] |
So, what am I doing up so late?
Oh right.
Sucking at life.
. sarah .
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| ...scream til I faint... |
[10 May 2004|11:53pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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armor for sleep |
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I swear to all that is good and holy, I'm about to claw out my uterus with an unsharpend pencil. That's correct folks; an unsharpened pencil... mainly because it's the only thing within reaching distance that is sharper than a library card or a ball of wadded up paper. Damn it all and damn my uterus...
...and damn my outline that I still haven't done and damn feeling like shit and damn stupid indecisive people and damn the four cups of (very good) coffee that I just drank and damn feeling like this...
. sarah .
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[10 May 2004|01:34pm] |
And I probably forgot
to tell you this
like that time when I forgot
to tell you about
that scar;
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See, you're not what I expected but
you're the only one who knows
how to
handle me...
You're such
a
great kisser
and
I know that you agree.
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| (today's ten millionth update...) |
[09 May 2004|09:19pm] |
You're forcing me to grin and bear it...
*
Hank messaged me and asked when he could see me. SOMEONE told him I am a slut or something...
. sarah .
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| The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock |
[09 May 2004|07:10pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions.
"That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all."
^Proof^ that early twentieth-century literature is applicable to today.
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| I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am... fine... |
[09 May 2004|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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counting crows |
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There were babies being dedicated in church today. Omg...
I'm such the bad student. I have sooosossososooso much to do right now, and I'm not doing it. Um, in fact, I'm definately doing everything in my power to find other, less productive things to do (ie, updating...)
Tragedy of tragedies... one of my little pink jewels came off of my sandal in Target somewhere and I couldn't find it. I SO did not pay $57 for flip flops that die after 3 months. No sir...
I bought three movies though. I got...um... oh right, Now and Then, Boondock Saints and A Bronx Tale. Wonderful. Something that's not so wonderful... I've spent $400 ($403.86 to be exact) in the past week. And I have nothing to show for it except, like, ten new shirts and some movies and three dollar flip flops. Oh. And I don't think I've been hungry. In anycase, this sucks. I'm so bad with money. My husband had better have bank. Endofstory.
My sister's graduating eigth grade. >AH!< She's so too young to go to high school...
Maybe I'll go do some work now... most likely not...
. sarah .
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| Talk is cheap so i bought every word you said. It scared me half to death now I'm half dead... |
[08 May 2004|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Brandtson |
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I love this song and especially that line. Brandtson kicks arse.
I'm in the weirdest mood right now. You have no idea. And I don't really know if weird is the correct word to describe myself at this moment. I'm chill. But, like, not in a good way. Oh, and to be fair and warn you, I have a feeling this is going to be a complaining entry. Just thought I'd share a head of time...
The realization of a whole lot of things has begun to set in. That wall or "rock bottom" so many people hit in their lives is beginning to get closer to me, on a daily basis it seems. And I don't know what to do. Everyday, being bombarded by conflicting views and morals and thoughts and influences has lately been hitting me harder than ever before. It's knocking me down and paralyzing my judgement, causing me to think in no way other than warped. And I don't know what to do.
I used to have people I could go to, even if I wouldn't, and they were there. I had someone there that, after I'd finish my rant, would nod and say "I know what you mean" and really, truly mean it. I miss that.
Getting your way is so highly overrated. Know why? Because as soon as you do, and you realize how wonderful it is, before you know it, it's gone. It's snatched out from under you and, as you teeter backwards and you glance upwards and see that there's nothing to grab onto, and it's then and there that it hits you that there's nothing you can do. And even if there was, it would eventually fall apart, just like fucking everything else.
*
The concept of a healthy realtionship baffles me. Never, in my life or those directly around me, have I observed a relationship, be it marital or parent-child or sibling or whatever that actually functioned in a manner according to the way it should be.
And all I want, is to be the exception... And if not for anyone else, this time I guess, for me...
I know what you're doing. Right now. Stop it.
. sarah .
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| Never gonna stop give it up such a dirty mind I always give it up for the touch of the younger kind |
[05 May 2004|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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enraged |
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music |
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the knack |
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Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone. <3
I went to Mexican food with Chrish and Brad today after school. Yum.
Had a niiiice fun talk in spanish today with sam and melissa and maggi. Um, yeah, pretty sure all the details of them losing their virginity could have been spared. At least I know that when I do, if I cry, it'll be because I'm so happy that I've found the guy of my dreams and not because I feel dirty or used or nothing at all...
The OC finale is killin me right now.
I <3 Seth. He totally just told Marissa that she was a selfish bitch that ruined everything for Ryan even though Ryan's going back to Chino with Theresa because she decided to have the baby and... oh never mind...
. sarah .
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| She needs something with a little more edge and a little more pain. |
[02 May 2004|10:33pm] |
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music |
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toby keith... yeah... i listen to country... that a problem? |
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THis was a busy weekend.
But first, read my last entry and do what it says. Now. Or I'll get my Uncle Vinnie (yes, I have an Uncle Vinnie) to chop of something of yours; be it a finger or otherwise.
Right so Friday, went and saw Kill Bill dos with Brad and Evan and his dad and brother. Good good.
Saturday-- worked and went to the night at the oscars thing. Uber funness. Wore my dress from the 8th grade party. That was the first anything I'd ever bought at Saks. I'll post pics soon as they're developed.
Today-- church then work. I've eaten ssssoooo much today. Too much. I'm so fat.
I went on a walk tonight. Walked downtown to starbucks where sarah gave me a venti mocha frappuccino. I like her.
Walking around your house in your bra and underwear will never be overrated.
And, I think...
I think I'm falling in love...
. sarah .
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[02 May 2004|06:42pm] |
Post a memory of me in the comments. It does not have to be the first memory of us meeting, just the first event that comes to your mind when you think about me. It can be anything you want.
Then post this in your journal and see what people remember of you.
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| You know how much I need you, but you never even see me do you... |
[29 Apr 2004|10:14pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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coldplay |
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I'm in a very easily distracted mood right now. I don't think I'm going to be doing my paper on ankylosing spondylitis any time soon.
The play was cute. I'm so very proud of Erin. The songs in that show are damn hard. But Mrs. Lucido (weird, I know) said she could really use me next year so I think I'll do that. Damn I miss performing... Anyways, you all should go see it tomorrow or Saturday night. It's free...
Um, I think I'm being used...
I hate the word corpse, Nidal and I decided today. Definate, definately.
I <3 you Jordan Huller. You made going to the play ten times cooler than it ever could have been. Hahahahahahhaha.... (that's me laughing at all the funny things you said... silly goose...)
I ate a Twix for dinner tonight. I want some real food, like, I don't know, a steak or something... yeah... mmm...
. sarah .
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| make my bed a grave and shovel dirt onto my sheets... |
[29 Apr 2004|05:50pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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fall out boy |
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Haha, hmm...
I have never been more disappointed in you love, than I am at this exact moment. Oh wait, this moment. No, this moment. Man, you just keep goin...
. sarah .
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[29 Apr 2004|05:14pm] |
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Ok, you know what I hate? Fuck, I hate people that aren't content with themselves and are constantly trying to out-do their friends. One friend in particular; me. I hate that I always feel like whatever I do is just fine, then this person comes along and does something greater. Or, fuck I don't know. I'm just insecure and it bugs me. And the fact that they're CONSTANTLY rubbing it in my face doesn't make it any easier. I don't need to know every little detail, thanks. Everything they talked about and how fun it was and how they're doing this and this and this and this and how great they are. Blah blah blah. It kills me that I think that I'm my lonliest when I'm around my best friend. Dammit, why am I crying right now. I feel like I'm just overwhelmed with EVERYTHING and while it's small stuff, I know it's small stuff, all that fucking small stuff has begun to add up and... well... you know what happens next... yeah...
F.U.C.K.
. sarah .
I don't even feel like going to that stupid fucking play anymore. Fuck that. Fuck. Fuck.
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| Die young and save yourself... |
[28 Apr 2004|05:20pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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brand new |
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I would do Colin Farrell in two seconds. No, no time. I wouldn't even think twice. Oh dear lord, oh my gosh, oh wow...
I love you. I honestly love you.
. sarah .
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| you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just scared to lose... |
[27 Apr 2004|10:11pm] |
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music |
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lisa loeb... this is one of the 1st music videos i ever saw. |
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I thought of the greatest Mother's Day present. Laurel Marotta called today and invited my mom to go see 'hairspray' in the city on friday and stay over night. My mom politely refused on the grounds of insufficient funds (sorry, big word spasm). She hung up the phone and proceeded to look very sad and say "man, I really wish I could get away once in a while..." So I, being the thoughtful and loving daughter that I am, called Laurel back and told her to save the ticket and the hotel room because I was going to pay for it so that my mom could go with her this weekend.
Oh yeah, and it's costing me $254.78 That's a whole lot of shopping right thurr yo...
But I think it's well beyond worth it.
-----
After 1st period, Jenny and Al informed me that Sr. Arellano had written something rather amusing on the board during class. And while I believed them, I wanted to see it for myself. So during 5th period, I walk into class and look on the board. And alas, in plain view, written there for all to see is "Practicar el B-J"
Apparently "B-J" was intended to stand for 'bungee jumping' but us, being the sick minded teenagers that we are, immediately thought differently. I mean, I personally thought 'belly jam'... wait, what were you thinking? Oh, c'mon... that's just disgusting... unacceptable...
. sarah .
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| I promise to stop now, to stop now... |
[26 Apr 2004|06:13pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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armor for sleep |
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So, about it being insanely hot today.
And about more guys commenting on my hair than girls...
Did I mention how hot it was today?
And how I missed hearing his voice all this weekend...
Yeah...
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| C'mon baby light my fire... |
[24 Apr 2004|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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the doors |
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So my sister asked me to help her sneak out tonight to meet some guy. And let the teenage romance games begin...
I got my hair cut. It's short. Uber short. Willow from 6th season short. But I like it. I like it.
I love almost famous. I love it.
. sarah .
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